History
In the late 13th century Michael the Celt set east from Europe to find a new trade route between the Orient and the West. He died in Albania from the flu without ever finding that route. His 11 sons, all born as Albanian-Celts continued his quest but finally settled in the land known as The Uflark when they encountered mountains that they couldn't cross without the pack animals they had eaten on the trip eastward. It looked hopeless for Michael's children, but they built new lives for themselves and soon intermarried with the many native tribes and roaming gypsies.

Josef Stalin added The Uflark to the Soviet Union in the 1930's and renamed the country Uflarkistan, remarking that he was tied coming up with new names for countries and from now on everything was just going to end in  "stan" to make them easier to remember. 

Uflarkistan was generally ignored in the Soviet system until the dawn of it's nuclear program, when her wide open spaces were deemed perfect for weapons testing and for dumping toxic materials. Uflarkistan was also granted several major industries under the Soviet central planning system, notably luggage and of course cat litter, due to the nation's massive clay deposits.

Economy
Today Uflarkistan's largest export is cat litter, mined in the huge clay pits of the Great Uflarken Basin, a spectacular 40000 square kilometer dry lake bed. Cat litter and it's high tech cousin, scoopable cat litter are also the most common building materials used in Uflarkistan. Both are used to  build the most modern homes, office buildings, hotels, roadways and airports. Other major exports include industrial salts, sandpaper and suitcase nuclear weapons.

The nation's largest import is hazardous waste which is deposited in the vast, depleted clay pits. This brilliant balancing act - clay for industrial waste was the idea of  His Excellency The Honorable Abdul Uflarken O'Malley, elected President for Life in 1989. The program has brought unprecedented prosperity to the land of The Uflark.

Government
Uflarkistan has a freely elected, democratic government consisting of a executive branch, a three house parliament and an independent judicial system. The division of powers is unique, however, with the legislature meeting only once a year to select holidays and license plate designs. The remainder of all other decision making vested in Office of the President.

Cities
Uflarkistan is not all countryside and scenic beauty. The modern tempo of the great cities of Grigoosk, Zhor Bad and Ukroznygrad offers an unbeatable getaway for lovers of art, culture, sport and music. Grigoosk is the the largest city in Uflarkistan and is also the capital. Visitors can tour the impressive Hall of Clay and are welcome at the state owned Cat Litter Institute, where both scoopable and scented cat litter were invented.

A typical modern home, built from scoopable cat litter, Uflarkistan's most commonly used building material.

Religion
The official religion of Uflarkistan is the Albanian-Celtic Orthodox Church. But freedom of worship is considered a right of all Uflarkistanis, so long as they do so in exile.

Language
The dominant language throughout Uflarkistan is Uflark, a dialect said to be a combination of Farsi and Gaelic. Visitors need not worry, since Hungarian and Cantonese are widely spoken in the major cities and tourist venues.


 

Quick Facts

Did you know they say that the sun shines 366 days a year in Uflarkistan?  Local legend? Or just a tourist gimmick? No, it's true. It's because of the hole in the ozone layer over our county which has created the need for 3 additional leap years due to changes in the earth's magnetic field. This is also the reason why clocks travel backwards in Summer in our country.

Are the people of Uflarkistan Uflarks or Uflarkistanis? Call them Uflarks, please. Uflarkistani is actually considered a derogatory term for Uflarks and in the outer provinces calling someone by that name could prompt them to "trebleskyantrisoks", or rip your arm off and beat you to death with it.